My Night With Bereket

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Bereket and I sat with our beers by the river as the golden sky dissolved into a deep darkness. We sat for hours talking about music and culture our dreams and the future. We talked a lot about his ex-girlfriend, an Israeli woman who nearly moved to Ethiopia to be with him. He talked a lot more than I did, and at times I tuned out and enjoyed the peace and quiet that surrounded us.

After a few beers the mood changed, I could feel that he was wanting to make a move so I told him it was time for me to go to bed.

I stood up and when he followed he leant in to kiss me.

“I have a boyfriend” I reminded him (I had managed to keep the same boyfriend charade up for 4 months) as I turned my face away.

“So? Life is about doing what makes you happy and living in the moment” he replied and he put his hand around my neck and tried to pull me in closer.

“If I was 10, or even 5 years younger I probably would, but I am too old for cheating and late nights out with boys I just met. Especially when I will be seeing my boyfriend again in just a few days”.

And that part was the truth. Although my girlfriend and I had an ‘overseas is ok’ agreement, and both of us had been with other people in the four months that I was away, I was too close to home now to want to be with anyone else. For four months my relationship had been on my mind. Long distance is hard, I would argue even harder for lesbian couples prone to drama. We had had more fights than I could count, there had been plenty of tears and nights when I felt totally alone, lonely and missing home and especially her. Most days I day-dreamed that she had been travelling with me, and I always wondered what the trip would have been like if we had gone to Africa together.

He started begging me to stay out with him longer. I was getting annoyed. I thanked him for the day and left.

In my hotel room I was sure that he would show up on my doorstep and sure enough 5 minutes later there was a knock at my door.

He said that he came to give me his bracelet as a goodbye present. I told him I couldn’t take it, I’d feel bad and that bracelet or no bracelet I wasn’t going to invite him in.

He left again, and again I closed the door.

5 minutes later he knocked again. This time he had two drinks with him. He fed me a few smooth pick up lines and I told him to leave when he kissed me.

To my surprise it wasn’t too bad and so I kissed him back.

It was a stupid mistake on my behalf. It was hard enough getting rid of him before we kissed, it was a lot harder after we did.

Eventually I forceful and literally pushed him away and slammed the door shut.

I hopped into bed and got the first message from Bereket that night (for this blog I fixed the spelling of the words but didn’t change the sentence structure):

‘I still enjoyed my time with you, please just don’t go to bed without talking to me’

My reply:

‘I am already in bed. There really is nothing to talk about. Goodbye and thank you again for the day’.

His reply:

‘Just feel that I am not sure if I can go to bed and I feel the same that you feel the same. I am about to have a drink but I don’t think I could enjoy because I didn’t feel the right to blame whom in this part me, you or to curse the nature for what it shared only for us. I believe anytime soon you will call me, I know that my eyes will not be shut for all night, you think is this fair… I didn’t put a question part because… you tell me or let me know how to deal with this loneliness crazy moment fighting in my mind.’

I didn’t reply and shortly after he knocked on the door again.

I lay there quietly.

He knocked and knocked and eventually left.

‘I couldn’t get drunk to get lost, so I came down here next to your room, next to your room with no key because I felt like the person to be judged. Number 26. Please come and tell me that you forgive me’.

Next message:

‘I am waiting for you in the morning number 26 room with no door locked’.

I fell asleep and when I woke again it was still dark and the rain was pouring down. It was only 5am but I was afraid of seeing Bereket again and going through the drama all over again. I packed my bags and crept quietly out of the room, still in pitch black darkness.

True to his text messages the door of room 26 right next to mine was wide open but there was no movement inside.

I walked through the streets in the pouring rain, thunder and lightening going off constantly. I was drenched, by bag was drenched, I had a hangover and wanted to crawl back into bed to listen to the storm from somewhere warm and safe.

At the bus station I was relieved to find out that there was a bus leaving that morning for Abra Minch. I still had to stand out in the rain until it was ready to leave but I felt safer there then back in the room beside his.

I waited until I was sitting on the bus, uncomfortably drenched but beginning to move to message Bereket:

‘Sorry for not replying last night. I am on a bus already. Thank you again for a wonderful day, I wish you all the best in life’.