Ghanaian Men

I went for a walk to the ocean and found this small trail that led from the main road into a park. I followed it through some trees and onto a wobbling plank of wood that formed a bridge across an open sewer... I could picture falling in that sewer... I practically flew across it.

The path continued past some small vegetable patches that were being raked by women as their men sat watching them from beneath the shade of trees. I stumbled on until I reached an enormous empty red field of dirt... a soccer field.

 

Very shortly after streams of men trailed in behind me. Each one stopped to talk, of course they wondered what the hell I was doing there and where I was from. They begged me to stay and watch their game. I told them I had never seen a soccer game before, they couldn't believe it. They said this was even more reason to watch them. They boasted in turn that they were the best player, and some of them took their shirts off and showed off their ball skills. I said that I would stay and watch the game, I said I was looking forward to it, and that wasn't a lie. They started stretching and warming up, I really do think that having an audience added pressure to the match, even though the entire audience consisted of one strange looking white woman.

 

The game began. I don't really understand the rules but it wasn't so hard to follow - they kick the ball and hope it goes in the net. I wanted the yellow team to win, I counted the hottest players on that team, and only a few hotties on the blue team.

 

Only a few minutes into the game this skinny man creeps up to me. No idea where he came from. He leans in and whispers "I like you... I promise not to make you pregnant"

 

I was gob-smacked!

 

I told him I have a boyfriend and even if I didn't I wouldn't have sex with him. He asked if I have friends at home that I could send over for him to marry, I said no. The conversation went on with him getting more and more on edge and me getting more and more on edge.

 

Him: I will marry her

Me: I don't know anyone for you to marry!

Him: Give me your number. your Australian number, you go home, find me a girl to marry, send her to me!

Me: It doesn't work like that. I wouldn't just send a girl to marry you. Australia is too far away anyway. None of my friends would want to marry you. Women aren't objects you just send off across the world. None of my friends are single anyway...  and... and... and... well... no... just no.

 

He would not let up. He just kept pestering me, standing so close I could feel his breath on my face. I gave up. He wasn't going anywhere so I realised I had to. I walk off and the guys on the soccer field yelled out "hey where are you going?", "you don't want to watch?", "Hey kai come back!".

In hindsight I wish I had just asked the players to tell this guy to rack off. But I was fuming, and I get pretty irrational when I'm angry so I decided it was better to just leave.

 

He followed me.

 

I turned around and yelled "Fuck off! Dont follow me!"

 

He continued to follow me. On the rickety bridge across the sewage I felt him not far behind, this time I wanted the plank of wood to break. He followed me until I got back to the main road. At the road I turned around to really make a scene but he was no where in sight.

 

Here is a typical conversation between Ghanaian men and me

 

Him: Hissssss... Hisssss. He'll smack his lips together a few times and hiss some more.

Me. Silence. Head down. Thinking 'fuck off already'.

Him: Hey lady! Madam! Lady!

Usually by now they are right beside me keeping pace

Me: [sigh] I mumble hello.
Him: You are very beautiful
Me: Thank you
Him: My name is [insert very Western name here]
Me: I'm Kai

we shake hands

Him: Where are you going?
Me: This way... home... to meet someone
Him: I like you
Me: You don't know me, how can you like me?
Him: Give me your number
Me: I don't have a number
Him:You don't have a number!!! But how can I contact you??
Me: You cant!
Him: But I like you, I want to be your friend... You have boyfriend?
Me: Yes I do
Him: But I like you too much!

The rest is him badgering me for my email address or home address in Australia or a date. Most annoy the hell out of me, being way too pushy, some become quite amusing or even surprise me by turning rational and saying goodbye.

I really don't know how you could live here as a white woman. Obviously there are some who do, but you can't step out your door without some man stopping you and starting that conversation, that exact same learned conversation, time and time again, word for word. Every time it amazed me to hear that exact same script fall from their mouth.